My two cents

Grandma Abigail used to say that I should always save every penny I had. In fact that is the only thing Grandma Abigail used to say, nothing else, to me, my brother and her sons. One reason she said this a lot, was that she had lived the 29 crisis in flesh and bones, so I guess it is understandable that she saved a lot, every penny; I can say that it was a little bit too much, but who am I to judge the old lady.

So I grew up and Grandma Abigail died of old age, she was 104 I think, but no one knew exactly how old she was. I felt nothing when she died, and that made me a little miserable, how come everyone was upset but me? So prove that I did care for Grandma, I took the only one advice she gave, to save every cent starting that day.

The thing is that I had only two cents in my pocket and truth is that I used electronic payments most of the time. So I emptied the two cents into my cents saving jar.

Years passed and soon I was an old man myself. My grand kids came to visit me every once in a while which made me happy, because my wife had passed away and I was a little bit lonely, but not miserable, I was ok. I always told them to keep away from the jar, until one day when they were big enough to speak, one of my grand kids asked me what was inside the jar. To that I replied:

-My two cents, of course.-

-Two cents? But what good can you do with two cents?- I had though about this a lot throughout my life, and the answer was simple, nothing. Two cents are worth nothing at all. In fact I spent great deal of my free times trying to find a use for those miserable two cents.Then I realized, that every time I came about the jar, it reminded me of Grandma Abigail. I guess that was what the old fart was trying to do, to remember her, and it worked.

-Well, you know, you have to save every penny worth. You never know what the future holds. So never let go of your pennies, although they may seem worthless, don’t let go of them.-

-Yes grandpa.- And so they went off, and every time they came to visit I reminded them to save a penny a day, though they were rare and scarce.

Going for a run

After running for more than half an hour, Horse 1 realized that Horse 2 was missing (he was his dearest and long time best friend ). Where could have he had gone? Horse 1 stopped intermediately, and instead of planning in what direction he should start his search for Horse 2, he got incredibly worried about his mental health. Horse 1 was getting old. What could he do to slow the process of getting old?

Maybe running a little bit more, they say, he thought, that jogging keeps the body young and healthy, so he started trotting again. Yup, he was a dashing across the plain keeping an open eye in case he ran across Horse 2.

So the day passed by and he ran and ran, not even the wild mustangs could keep up with Horse 1, for he was determined to slow the ageing process.

Night had fallen, and Horse 1 was exhausted, so he decided to call the day off and head to the pub. Inside the pub he found Horse 40 and Horse 3, both having a pint of beer. He asked for a beer and sat next to them. So they talked for hours, until Horse 1 remembered that he had lost Horse 2 while running earlier that day.

-Guys, do you know where Horse 2 is?- He said. -I lost him.

Both, Horse 40 and Horse 3, looked at each other confused.

-What do you mean, you lost him?- Asked Horse 40

-Yeah, today while running together, I lost him.- He replied.

-Horse 1, Horse 2 has been very sick the past couple of months, memory bacteria, remember.- Suddenly Horse 1 felt a deep and striking chill running down through his spine.

-You mean, his has been in his Château all this time?-

-Yeah, you should know better.-

Horse 1 stood up immediately and remember the reason he was running earlier that day, he did not want to age and catch a similar disease to that of Horse 2. He got extremely anxious and paid for his drink.

-Where you headed Horse 1?- Inquired Horse 40.

-Well that is obvious…for a run.-

Ever since that day (we think…) Horse 1 did not stop running. Sometimes he lost Horse 2, sometimes he lost his mind, but we know that he kept moving, and these my dear sirs and madams is the important part: keep moving.

It (pt. 2)

So Toast went to the sock drawer and took out some regular old fashioned socks, he was convinced no one would notice since the rest of his outfit was so elegantly arranged that not even Giorgio Gabana would notice. He slid his right sock and then the left, but suddenly he noticed something unnatural, something strange, something that no human being had ever experienced before.

He started to panic, Toast did not know what to do next, it was as if the whole world was on the verge of collapse and he was the only one there to testify such hideous event. Why me? He asked constantly to himself. But no answer came, for he was alone. All these descriptions we know because in his declaration statement he wanted us to know exactly how it happened.

So Toast went on panicking for couple of hours, until he decided to call us. As you may notice from this past report, not much makes sense, and I would sympathize with you if you think all of these is ludicrous. But the truth is that it simply happened… When Toast finally managed to get in touch with us, for him it was too late, but we decided to carry out the ordeal.

So we went into his home and asked him to describe exactly how it had happened. As I said before, nothing appeared to be out of the ordinary until he was about to try out his left sock. So we tried reversing the process hoping to get an answer and we achieved it with certain level of success. We traced back Toast´s steps until we ended up in front of it. Just in that moment did we realized it made perfect sense for we were in front of it, face to face, cara a cara. It was just simply unbelievable, no explanations needed.

It was the washer, that old fashioned white box that carries the daily chore of cleaning our clothes. Just then we came to our senses, that maybe it was the responsible of the whole thing. We started questioning it, but without success. Where did you hide them? Why did you do it? And so and so we tried almost every method, but it would not talk.

Until now we do not know the real reason why it did it, why it exterminated or maybe exiled all the left socks of Mr. Toast. It remains behind the bars, and as it appears to be, it will not ever talk about those left socks.

Mr. Toast sadly had to get rid of all his right socks because he just could not carry ahead with his life knowing the left partners had disappeared forever. We know that Mr. Toast refuses to use any kind of foot hat and that he only wears flip flops.

As for me and my colleagues at the force, we shall continue in our search for the lost left socks of Mr. Toast. And we will not fail, and it will sooner or later give us an answer.

It (pt.1)

For it to survive, it needed to have the correct conditions. Air temperature, moisture, proper connections, sink, and well most of the things you need for it to work. But why does it need to survive? Well for starters we do not know the real reason we keep it alive, but some in the scientific community suggest that it exists in order to keep us clean. The debate could go for ages, and I do not wish to address these issues for there is a greater thing concerning it.

A few days ago, a certain gentlemen, whose name I cannot remember, but last name resembled Toast, made an emergency phone call addressing some disturbing things about it. For 30 minutes, Toast´s declarations revealed that not only something was terribly wrong with it, but that it had committed one of the greatest, if not the greatest, crimes of all times. Let me be honest, some say the following did not represent any crime at all, and the only thing I have to say is

At about 1030 Toast declared that he was taking out his clothes from the laundry machine. Everything went that went into that laundry machine was ordinary, you had your casual jeans, colorful shirts, dirty and smelly socks and of course the flamboyant underwear. According to protocol it can be induced that everything went quite alright and there was no reason to preoccupy, until the wash cycle was completed….

You see, at the beginning, as Toast took his clothes out, nothing appeared to be out of the ordinary, just like good ol’ times. And so he went and took care of making the proper arrangements to store his clothes in the drawers and the closet; so he says.

The morning after, he got up as usual and after taking a long and refreshing shower he went on to dress up for work. His elegant trousers fitted smoothly, while his shirt shown with pomposity and joy, and let us not leave his beautiful new jacket that suited well for the cold weather. One last thing remained, his polished shoes, only one thing separated his shoes from his body and those were his socks.

The line

It was there that I met them. For a few hours we were a family. Like brothers and sisters, we tried to be up to date with their life. Sometimes, though, it was hard for some were secretive and locked in mystery their doings.

Sometimes we laughed and sometimes I wanted to strangle them. Those few hours were spent like an eternity surrounded by multitudes of people. And they were also part of families, not mine, but a hundred others that shared a similar situation.

Some of us sang songs. Other damned the system. Others talked politics, while some talked love. Me, I was just there watching the show, not saying a word, just absorbing the world.

We, the family and I, were strangers amongst strangers. No one really knew each other, and we all had our reasons to suspect of one another. Yes our family was strange and full of strangers, because in two hours no one can create a family, just an illusion, a story or a dream.

Those were the days or best said, that was the day when I was part of an imaginary family, where my brothers and sisters were a bunch of total strangers. Yup that day at the endless line at the amusement park.

The green meadow

He was held at an interrogation room, they did not know the reasons behind de crime. One of the officers walked in and started the inquire him.

“Good morning Patrick.”

“Officer…”

“I know it’s been a long day, but until we do not get what we want, we cannot continue the trial. Do you agree?”

“I agree.”

“So might you be so kind to explain us, why did you commit the crime?”

“Officer, I have told you before. How long will this keep going, I mean I’ve told you everything there is to say.”

“But we are not quite convinced. Would you be able to tell us again what happened?”

“Ok, but this is the last time. No more repetitions…agreed?”

“I cross my heart and hope to die.”

“You better.” The criminal sighted and began telling the story of his crime. “So I was there, you know in the green meadows. The sky was blue, the grass was green and the colors were flying in the air. Never before had I seen something so beautiful. I was lost, just woke up from a dream to realize that I was in another dream. Could you imagine going from a beautiful dream to another even more splendid and glorious?”

“No. Surely I don’t?”

“Well that maybe the very first reason behind my crime. But not the last. I walked and suddenly I encountered a furry white rabbit. Sometimes they come in brown or in black or even in many colors at the same time; but he was white. Have you ever seen a bunny officer?”

“Sure I have. But I suppose not as beautiful as the one you saw.”

“Now let’s not use sarcasm. An I did not say it was beautiful, in fact he was deplorable, not because of his looks but what he had with him.”

“And what did he have on him?”

“A little piece he was holding. From the distance which where I was standing I could not make what was it that he was holding so I had to get closer to the creature.”

“And then?”

“Well officer, he had some piece…a piece of advice!”

“A piece of advice!”

“Yes, and do you know what did it say?”

“No I do not know what that piece of advice said.”

“I said: ‘Dear sir, you have to leave the green meadows for you are not welcome here and will never be. If you do not comply by midnight the consequences will be dire.´”

“Just that.”

“Yes officer, but when someone says that something will be dire, you might as well do whatever is ordered.”

“And what did you do?”

“I left the meadow, of course I did.”

“But why, you did not know what the consequences were?”

“Dire consequences officer! DIRE!”

“So you left?”

“Yes, and I walked until I left the green meadow and was no longer blessed with the colorful beauty. On the other hand I entered the dry lands. The grass was dry and yellow. The sky was gray and gloomy. And there were no bunnies, there were only bones.”

“Bones you say? What kind of bones?”

“Well dead bones. The ones that were part of the living before they became bones in the dry lands.”

“Interesting.”

“For me it was not interesting at all, it was just boring and sad. So I left the dry lands. Every moment that passed I just wished to be back in the green meadows, but I was forbidden to return.”

“And that´s when you arrived to our town?”

“Yes, it was then that I arrived and found this forsaken town.”

“You know, before your arrival, this was not a forsaken town. Remember that is what we are accusing you.”

“Ah yes officer. I know why you accuse me. I know that, but you know as well as I do that it is not solely my fault.”

“How come?”

“When I arrived you had troubles yourselves you see. Your major was tumbling, the water was scarce, the money was gone and yet you preached progress and order. My arrival was ideal. Blame the stranger. The one that comes from the dry lands, the one that was vanished from the green meadow.”

“So you admit that you were vanished from the meadows and that you brought pities of the dry lands?”

“That, I do not deny. For the dry lands host large quantities of disease.”

“So you confess?”

“No! Because I am only guilty of not having a permit to leave here. Is that a crime officer?!”

“It is. But that is not everything. You will not pass on to us your disease, and for that we are vanishing you from our town.”

“Officer you know that sooner or later the people will know you are to take the blame for the dry lands and not me.”

“Perhaps, but they do not know that now.”

Patrick was exiled from that town which name I cannot remember. His punishment was perpetual banishment. As he travelled east and west and north and south, he passed through various places that remembered him to the green meadows, but he could not stay there long. Then he went to other places that were exactly like the dry lands but could not survive there for it the earth was in bad conditions. And he was again and again put on trial on the numerous towns he entered. His crime: bringing disease from the dry lands.

Little do we know what happened the latter days of his life. On the other hand we know that the first town from which he was exiled; that is, my town, turned into a dry land.

Now we travel east in search for the green meadow.

Coffee and raindrops

Coffee was sad, for he was only popular at several times during the day…he wanted full-time popularity.

Reality was cruel for Coffee…

Then the flip flops walked, swap, swap they said. The coffee waited and waited but the flip flop faded away.

It was 7 am, popularity time. Coffee is happy, fame and glory. But 10 has come, and gone.

Coffee’s luck was drawn.

Summer was here and Coffee was forgotten. For a few months he felt rotten.

But then he heard: Galosh, galosh. No more flip flops.

And one and two, and three and four…yes his best friend was here.

He knew popularity was just around the corner. And contested it was, for his best friend was everywhere.

Rain drops and rain drops.

No problem Coffee thought. Raindrops made sad faces.

While Coffee, yes Coffee, made them smile.

Coffee watched Raindrops and vice versa, and both smiled.

Hot Lands

Far away in the forsaken region of the Gobi Desert, there was Taurus V the lost fan of the Europa. He was an old and rusty fan, yet he was tired of not finding a place hot enough for him to freshen up people.

The story of his journey is quite long, and it is not worth mentioning the details, for it is full of excitement, love, despair, agony and reflexion. To keep it short, we know that Taurus V started his journey in the lowlands of the European Mediterranea, where summers got extremely hot and humid. That said, for Taurus V, the climate was mediocre on those regions, and he needed a challenge, real people, real issues.

So he went and embarcked in a small vessel that carried him towards the coasts of the ancient Fenicians. It was there that he learned of the hottest region on Earth in a place known as Is-Raiel. But there was no one there and there was everyone there; but all were fighting for something or someone he did not understand; he thought it was all the same.

He then crossed unto the lands of Persia, and well he thought the same of them to. In the shores of the Caspian he joined a crew of beluga fishermen. There he helped the tired sailors to relax after the long day’s work. But he found the foul smell unbearable and had to leave his fellow fishermen behind.

On the delta of the Volga he headed north until he arrived to Qa-Zan, a city in the banks of the majestic river, where two huge cultures lived in harmony. Taurus V liked it there until winter came, he found himself useless and his circuits were freezing. In that republic of the Tartars, Taurus V waited for the winter to fade away.

It was until the icy rivers melted and the first flowers of spring bloomed that he decided to continue. He then boarded a train called the Trans-Sibe-Ryan, he crossed and crossed the infinite steppes of the Sib-Rya, until he arrived to a so called Lake Bahi-Kahl. But it was not hot enough.

So he travelled south, until he arrived to the country of the mounted horsemen. “Travel south, there you will find what you search” One of them said to the fan. So he mounted a horse and went south. He arrived to his current location, where he has lived almost a decade.

Taurus V now forms part of an elite of fans that serve the great masters of the Ori-Ent, and although he may seem rusty and old, he feels accomplished to serve the new masters of the lands. Mounted in horsemen he rides to serve whom is in need of some refreshing breeze of air.

But that is not all there is to Taurus’s V story, for there is more. And for me to narrate it completely, it would take ages.

Let’s just pray that Taurus V continues to serve mankind for the years to come.

That thing

A pigeon watches over me. He or she, (I don’t know the gender) has been staring at me for the past four days. I will not go into detail on what I’ve been doing these last days, but the pigeon knows it, all my secrets. Now, I am afraid that that thing will fly away and tell the whole world what I’ve been up to. The pigeon knows and I know. When I look at it, I stare into his gloomy red eyes, it returns the look, and we both stare at each other for minutes. “I know” Damn…

“Aren’t you going away?” I shout. But it stays, it does not go anyway. That thing, that flying rat. Suddenly it makes a sound: “Kru, kru.” I don’t know what that means, so I go to the web and try to translate it into human speak….but nothing, there is no match found.

“Kru, kru.” I say.

“Kru, kru?” Replies the pigeon.

Hell I don’t know where this is going. So I stop my conversation with the pigeon. I try to go back and continue with my stuff, but the damn thing is still staring at me. I throw a piece of paper, it flies and lands again. I close my curtains, at least the pigeon won’t be able to see what I am doing.

The next morning I open the curtain a little bit, just to get a glimpse outside. It is still there! “Kru, kru”

I need to put an end to this madness. So I call the police. They come.

“What seems to be the problem sir?”

“That thing won’t go away.” I walk them to the window and show them the pigeon.

“Sir, you are under arrest.”

“Wha-Why?!” They point at the table, where a bunch of diamonds lye peacefully.

“It seems you are the architect of the diamond robbery that took place five days ago.”

They handcuff me. As I am leaving my place I try to get a last glimpse at my enemy. I shout: “Kru, kru!” Suddenly the pigeon moves its head and flies away.

…I should’ve closed the curtains earlier.

Election day

Excellency and the newest member

Somewhere in the far away land of Aporua a celebration of a kind was about to take place…The newest member of the Parliament was going to be voted in. Yes dearest friends, this was one of the most anticipated events in recent times….at least that is what papers said. But in reality, no one cared that this new member was going to be sweared in.

His name was His Excellence Don Braulio and he was the new to be president of Aporua, and although no one knew who he was, he knew he was he. He was the newest leader of the Union and he was about to  be granted enormous powers. Yes gentlemen, Don was living his dream, and all he had worked for had finally come true.

The day of his coronation was grand, and he was blessed by Big Father Angopolus Swan, the Union’s top bishop. And so he parted, Don the great camel went on to rule the people of Aporua.

As years passed, the people continued living their life as usual, until one day a great spell was casted upon them: some sort of crisis no one understood. So they searched and searched for a solution, but because they could not understand what was going on, they could not come with a proper plan to tackle it.

Finally, they remembered that there was a certain someone, Don, that was in charge of everything. So they went to his headquarters and demanded an explanation, but he did not appear. After days and months of waiting, he finally appeared. Everyone waited at the city square just in front of the Union’s hall, and so he appeared, His Excellence Don Braulio. Everyone was silent at first, and then hours passed and they were still silent, then days passed and no sound.

“A camel?” One said.

“Well it looks like it…”

“Who put him in charge?”

“Well…I think we all did.”

Afterwards one of Don’s helpers appeared and whispered into his ear: “What should we do Your Excellence?” But he did not answer for he was a camel and he could not talk. His helper faded secretly into the building. At the square everyone remained silent.

“Amazing, I had no idea we voted for him.”

“No one did…”

Everyone left and went on to their homes. Everything continued as before, and suddenly life returned to normal. And again it was time for elections, but no one cared and again His Excellence Don Braulio was made president of Aporue.

That guy

That guy, he was always asking for money. On the same street he was always there, from dusk till dawn, I could not stand it. As I arrived every day to work, he was there, scaring clients away, always asking for money. What a guy! The situation was really bad, and there he was asking for any change anyone could spare. He knew I was always keeping an eye on him, but he pretended not to notice, and this was what got me the most. One day the police was patrolling the area, and soon I hid behind a door to see what happened. They took him away. At last!

Again the street was mine to ask for money.

Brain wash

The art of brain washing has long perplexed the general population. For ages men and women have been victims of this mysterious method to transform people’s thoughts.

Today, thanks to extensive research done by Dr. Jack Gaterswick, the mystery behind brain washing has finally been revealed.

In an interview realized a few days ago with Dr. Gaterswick we were able to know before anyone else the secrets behind brainwashing. Consider this an exclusive from our correspondents. When asked what was the main secret behind brainwashing, Dr. Gaterswick replied that it was no secret, that it was in front of us all along. Supermarkets, pharmacies, showers, virtually everywhere we went. He said that we just took it for granted.

But we needed detail, so we asked him again what things were used in order to carry out a successful brain wash. He said it was soap, liquid soap made it easier. But not any soap, it could not be cream soap or any other fancy soap, just regular and cheap, because those are the ones that reach almost everyone. We were quite confused and amazed and so we asked him how could soap do the trick. He said that back in the times of the pharaohs, Egyptians discovered that they needed to control its population, so they devised the first soap for brain washing activities, it was just the soap people used to clean their clothes. After he explained that Egyptians were the pioneers because they learned that one needed not to cut the skull open and take the brain for a good ol’ wash, but it could be sent via the nasal orifices.

Today, he noted, agencies like the CIA, FSB and Mossad use similar archaic methods, although they have devised a kind of washing machine where the suspect puts his head in after been forced to inhale the soap, this with the goal of achieving the best wash ever and a clean brain.

So there it is folks, the mystery has been revealed, next time think twice about buying liquid soap.

The Missing Link

Crowds gathered around, the newsstand was surrounded by herds of people, like cattle they all pushed each other to have a glimpse at the newspaper. It was one of the greatest news of recent times. But what was it? For hours they gathered but some just could not achieve to get a look at the headline. Suddenly as a man was coming out of the storm, a young student asked him:

“What is it?”

“Boy, you would not believe it, but we found it!”

“What?! What?!”

“The missing link has been found at last!”

“No way..”

“Yes way. I tell you they did it! Now everything is clear, we know where we came from. Isn’t it a great relief?,,,,”

“Yes…but, what was it?”

“It was simple, apparently it did not end in .com but in .org. I can’t believe it, why didn’t we think of it before.”

And that was the day humans understood where the missing link had gone.

What is a polick?

Sometimes there are times and sometimes there are policks. When there are times, people just gather around to celebrate, to have a glass of wine and to forget. Times are always there and everyone has at least lived them once. Call it luck, call it faith, call it whatever you may want, sometimes there are times.

 On the other hand there are policks. Policks are extremely rare, and compared to times they do not come that often, in fact we do not know when they come and usually it is extremely hard to predict them. But some of us have lived through policks, the thing is we do not know if we are living a polick or not. There are sometimes that we are certain we are going through one, but most of the times they are just deja vus (which have nothing to do with policks).

 Policks are all around us, but hard to detect and so far no one has come up with a proper device to spot them. Some that have experienced a polick described them as friendly, humorous and generous, others just say that they are correct and others are just speechless. That said, whoever has experienced policks has always been amazed by them; that is the main difference between them and times.

 So: What exactly is a polick?

 We just don’t know.

Spaceships one and two

Space ship one and spaceship two were the most advanced spaceships in the galaxy. Everyone envied them, from the King of England to the ruler of Andromeda 28. They had everything going, Italian design, Japanese electronics, Mexican food, Russian engines and Sri Lankan colors…they were one of a kind.

 Unfortunately they were lost… lost in space. Apparently their spatial GPS/Glonass malfunctioned as one of the pilots prepared some burritos in the spaceship’s own microwave (yes it also had a microwave…amazing no?) Ministers from all around the galaxy declared a state of emergency, level yellow red they said. The search was on.

 Years passed, but spaceships one and two were never found. Everyone wondered what had happened, and many books, films and songs were made about them.

  One day, Old farmer Leonard Hamil, was selling fruits in one of the outer rings of Orion’s belt, when a spaceship stopped to ask for directions. Old Leonard said he did not know, for he only sold fresh fruits. “I’ll take a bunchfull of those juicy apples for the road.” Old Leonard dispatched them some fruits, and as they were parting off, he noticed that one of the left panels of the ships seemed very familiar, he then realized it was one of spaceship one left panels!

 “Where did you get that panel sir?”

 “Nice eh…Well I got them from the junkyard down at Kepler’s region.”

 “Kepler’s yard?!”

 “Yeah…apparently everyone sells their stuff in there, but this beauty…well let’s say I just got lucky.”

 “So you are saying it was just a piece lying there?”

“Yup. I guess the previous owners had a really nice ship, but got greedy and sold it. You know I would have done the same.”

“You know, me too.”

 Everyone knew what had happened to those celestial spaceships, but everyone had done the same. So for centuries people did not say a word about spaceships one and two.

Heavenly creatures

Planet Earth hosts a huge variety of species which live in a certain state of harmony. From chimpanzees and ants, to the cute koalas and the alien looking praying mantis, all creatures on earth share and breath the same gaseous substance known as oxygen with the strangest and yet most common member of the animal kingdom, the human being.

 Yes gentlemen, we are certainly the craziest and weirdest creature on earth, we can not fly, neither can we create spider webs or submerge hundreds of feet below sea level. But we do have one thing that other species do not have, and that, my dear sirs, is sweet beaurocracy; it would be impossible to imagine pigeons stamping documents in order for them to fly across the skies of Barcelona or salmon paying some fee to travel up river.

 Beaurocracy is not something new, in fact it is as old as we are and there is enough historical evidence to support that since the dawn of our species men had some sort of control methods to carry out their daily activities. I do not know if it was during those times that a supreme being appeared to men and asked the: “Pardon me gentlemen, but if you want to continue with your venture towards becoming the dominant species on the planet, you’ll have to rend tribute to us, your creators.” Then men asked: “How?” And it was those words that marked us forever. “Checks and balances of course.”  And we chose checks and balances and here we are… ants also received that same offer, but it is clear that they declined it.

The Egyptians and the ancient Chinese were noted for their complex beaurocratic systems; after all, the first major written piece in human history is about laws and beaurocracy, the Hammurabi code. Even the first major work of literature, the epic of Gilgamesh has some vestiges of these magnificent processes and let’s not talk about Homer’s Iliad and Odyssey, which were plagued by corruption and inefficient systems. Yet for some reason, historians call the period in which Greek and Roman civilization thrived as the Classic Period; maybe because they all dressed in white robes and were all part of the beaurocracy.

 Centuries passed, and gentlemen let me be honest, nothing happened. A part from numerous wars, plagues, deaths, love and romances, and maybe some great pieces of art, human beings continued to be the same old creature that tries to keep control of everything. However it was not until the XIX Century and early XX Century that a series of individuals started to question our own existence and purposes in life; Names like Dostoyevsky, Kierkegaard, Camus and Kafka. It took us thousands of years to come up with a term that defines us as a species: Kafkaesque in honor of Mr. Franz Kafka. Let me note, that many of his generation also satirized society, but none of them had such a sexy last name that could represent all of us; our species’ denomination is sexy, its Kafkaesque.

We are heavenly creatures after all….

Harvest Moon

Once there was a song called harvest moon, and Ronald Man, a noted farmer, did not know it. One day he heard someone talking about the Harvest Moon, and Ronald thought people were actually going to the moon for a great harvest. Unfortunately, people did not know what was he talking when he asked them about a harvest in the moon, he was frustrated and thought everyone was hiding it from him.

So he embarked to build a space ship. Ten years passed and Ronald Man was ready to take off in his spaceship full of grain. BUM! BUM! And there he went up towards the skies and into the unknown. His wife, kids and grandchildren said goodbye as he disappeared into the skies. A day passed and he finally landed in the moon. He went out but could not find that harvest, the Harvest Moon.

Ronald returned o Earth with empty hands. Everyone at his village greeted him greatly, celebrations took place and he was received as a hero. His wife, kids and grandchildren were all so happy to see his Ronald back that they cried of joy as he came out of the burnt spaceship. He could not understand.

They were all sitting at a big table having dinner, a great feast, when suddenly he heard someone talk of this Harvest Moon. He immediately went and told him there was no harvest, no Harvest Moon he said.

-Oh Ronald, you obviosuly did not listen to the song. You are a Southern Man after all. And the Harvest Moon, well… you have it all around!

He knew

He knew it all along, but did not want to tell the world he knew it. His friends and family knew it, but did not know that he knew. They were so worried, that they thought it was of most importance to let him know what they knew. For this, they created a plan, a life plan. So it started, all his life he was put in a path in order for him to know what he already did know that others also knew but did not know that he knew.

Years passed, and they could not manage to get him to know it, but he knew…He was lying in his death bead and looked around, everyone was hoping for him to say that he finally got it. He smiled and thought: “I knew all along..”

Day peace broke out

Suddenly everyone stopped doing what they were suppose to do; everything was on hold. And for no reason at all, peace broke out. It was that day that an international institution was created to promote war.

Until now we are waiting for peace to fade away.

The laughing door

Gentlemen, please bare in mind that there is a huge threat which man kind has not had the trouble of solving. It is real and has been for the past thousand years, ever since men invented it. Yes, gentlemen I am talking about doors. For years doors have looked down on us, it is amusing since we are their creators, but no…doors seem to feel superior. In the end they decide who’s in and who’s out; that is, dear sirs, the ultimate power. Why isn’t there any superhero with a door like ability?

Some may think that doors are inanimate and have no voice whatsoever, well all of those who think that way are wrong. You see, there was a man called John Updike and he worked in the fourth floor of an old building which had an antique elevator which was fully operational. It was one o’clock and only one thing passed through John’s head: lunch time. So he headed out and called the elevator, as the elevator arrived he swung the door open and has hit in the face, the door bounced back and closed. As the door jumped from one place to another, it started laughing. John forgot the door had just hit him and was surprised the door was laughing at him.

He stared at the bronzed colored door for a few minutes, waiting for it to speak again, he was not sure what to do if the door spoke again, but he felt really insulted. Nothing… Jason Cull came out and called the elevator again, he saw John and knew something was up.

“Hey John, everything all right.”

“Yeah…the thing is the door just laughed at me.”

“The door just laughed at you?…”

“Yeah I swear…it was like, you know when doors laugh?”

“John…let me be honest. I don’t know what you’re on, but surely it most be really strong.”

“Oh…you are right probably it’s just me going loco.”

“Shall we?”

And both entered the elevator. However that day was of up most importance, for the whole human race for it was one of the few times men made direct contact with the doors.